Dr. Appt NOT so good.

Wow what a day. I woke up this morning feeling leery and just not right. I got the girls to school and off I went to the dr. We talked about my history and made some plans as to prevent pre term labor and what tests we would do and such. We went to do the ultrasound and it didn't look right. 2 weeks ago I got one done at a private ultrasound place and the baby looked great and we heard the heartbeat. But this time I could barely see a thing and there was no little flicker. All was still and my heart sank. I knew what this was. My body still thinks I'm pregnant but the baby stopped growing. If I don't pass the baby naturally I'll have to get a D&C. Ugh. I don't want to do either. This really does stink majorly. So as of now we are testing the hormones in my blood to see if they are rising or falling. But I don't see any hope. There was a heartbeat and now there isn't. It's just over or almost over. I'm becoming more at peace with all of this. I have 5 beautiful children that love me so much. I've been blessed in so many ways. This just happens and with my problems it's more likely. I have a fertility disease called PCOS and with that I have a miscarriage rate of 64%. Well 5 children 7 miscarriages it sounds about right. I really think the baby making factory is officially closed. I'm alright really. I've gotten tons of support and I really appreciate that. I'm just so glad I have the babies I have now. I just could use some prayers that this is resolved quickly.